Everything was canceled this weekend, for me anyway. Soccer tournaments (rain); a birthday party (not actually canceled, I just did not go); basically all of the plans for the weekend that I had as of yesterday afternoon. I have a head cold. nothing with a fever; nothing particularly notable about it, just a head cold. But man, am I sick!
I have been fighting it all week, taking plenty of vitamins, sleeping as much as possible, the usual. And I thought I was getting better, until about 10:00 on Friday morning. When suddenly, I realized that I should be no where near my office.
However, instead of coming home and going to sleep, I began addressing our Christmas cards. Instead of adhering to our couch, I made myself busy with Christmas-type things. Around 4:00, I succumbed to my sickness. As my body relaxed, the cold hit in full force and it sucks.
Sitting here today, though, I am appreciating all that is holiday. I am enjoying our tree. I am proud that we actually mailed our Christmas cards today, hoping people like the poem that I drafted as a meager way to offer our thanks for all of the support we received this year from our friends and family. We talked about how Santa stops time. We watched a movie and a couple of Christmas cartoons. I made my girl hot chocolate and enjoyed some coffee. I drank Gatorade. Lots and lots of Gatorade.
The best part is...this year, I do not have cancer. Last year, I seem to recall that we did all the same things. However, I also recall an underlying code of stress and anxiety unmatched by anything we had known before. Exhaustion at every step. A tear around every corner. But we did it. Life went on. That was the most important gift of last Christmas season. Life went on and Christmas came. Family came. Santa came down the chimney. He traveled through the night spreading Christmas cheer that cancer could not abolish. LIFE WENT ON.
Perhaps, I am forgetting the nausea or my gray skin tone or the implicit fog that plagued my brain on Christmas day.....but looking back, none of that seems important. I am proud that we got it done for our kids.
Looking back at pictures, I am sentimental. And I think about many Christmas seasons from now when chemo will be a distant memory, when I am completely reconstructed and I think about that special Christmas as a blessing. A blessing that taught me to appreciate all Christmas's past and future. My own Christmas Carol and the ghost that was our escort was my own.
How many people get a second chance like that?
So, I am going to sit on my couch and continue to enjoy our tree. I am hoping desperately that my cold goes away very soon because Christmas is coming. Good thing that most my shopping is done.
Showing posts with label Blue Christmas. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Blue Christmas. Show all posts
Thursday, December 23, 2010
Sunday, September 12, 2010
Josh Grimmer: Wouldn't it be Nicer?
My favorite album of all time is Bob Dylan's Highway 61 Revisited. Each and every song is perfect. Lyrically immaculate, musically impeccable, down to the order of the track list. I've never heard an album that comes even close. Yoshimi Battles the Pink Robots? Nice try. Washing Machine? Close, but no cigar. Pet Sounds? Come on. We're Only in it for the Money? What about that one song you don't like?
Wait. No. There. No no, go back one. Yeah. Pet Sounds. That's a perfect album. Perfect in every way. I mean, “Wouldn't it be Nice,” “Caroline, No,” “God Only Knows,” shouldn't this be it? Utter perfection, right? There isn't a single problem with this album. Beautifully produced. Brian Wilson at the height of his genius. The emotional response created by certain moments in each song is incredible. This is a slice of complete American perfection. It couldn't be more perfect, right?
It could, though. Recorded at the same time as Pet Sounds was “Good Vibrations,” which was tragically left off the album. Brian Wilson apparently thought the song needed more time. The band spent hours and hours and hours in the studio recording vocal tracks. Re-recording vocal tracks. Re-re-recording vocal tracks. Re-re-re-you get it. The amount of work that went into getting the song to gel is mind-boggling.
Can you penalize something for not being as complete as you think it should be? Say, for instance, it was revealed that “Hey Jude” was supposed to be on Abbey Road. Does that erase forty years of greatness? Probably not. For some reason though, the knowledge that “Good Vibrations” was originally slated to be on Pet Sounds leaves me slightly cold whenever I think about it. The worst part is the teacherly feeling I get. Remember when the dumb kid would turn in his crappy paper and get a B+, and you'd turn in your really good paper and get a C- because the teacher “knew you could do better”? Yeah, well fuck you, Mrs. Desrosiers. Should you be punished for not living up to your potential, even if you've still achieved something great? I dunno – George Harrison was always bummed the Beatles weren't more famous than they were.
I've listened to Pet Sounds ten or so times this week. It's the only album I've had on while writing and editing and reading and all of that. It gets better and better each time. There are little moments I miss or forget or remember just in time that fill me with joy. The “baby, don'cha know” at the 1:10 mark in “I'm Waiting for the Day.” The way the harmonies manage to get better as “Sloop John B” fades out. The goofy horn solo in “I Know There's an Answer.” The clip-clop-clup noises in “God Only Knows.” Every little moment elicits a different, fantastic response. I close my eyes and I can feel the neurons firing in my brain in ways that other albums just can't replicate.
(Side note: If my wife and I were ever on The Newlywed Game [too late for that at this point] and either of us were asked what “our song” was, we'd say “God Only Knows.” I always figured if we were ever going to have a song, it might as well be the single best love song ever written. This song was not played at our wedding reception, however, because my mom decided to put The Best of Janet Jackson into the CD player and program it to repeat the first track over and over. We were treated to three straight spins of the wretched and reprehensible “Runaway” before the other guests threatened to throw my mom down a flight of stairs.)
I guess Pet Sounds is perfect. I guess. Art is subjective, right? My “perfect” is different from your “perfect,” right? Then again, my friend Dave once claimed that every Christmas song would be better if they all began with Elvis going “Ah-weh-ah-hell-ah-I'll-ah-have-ah-bluuuuuue.” I've tried this – it's 100% true. It works with every single song. It makes them a little more perfect.
I guess Pet Sounds, ultimately, is like Nigel Tufnel's amp in This is Spinal Tap. As it stands, the album is set at ten, and “Good Vibrations” would give it that extra push over the cliff. Maybe since Pet Sounds is already perfect, “Good Vibrations” would make it more perfect. If we can have more infinite infinities, I feel it stands to reason that some things can be perfecter than other, also perfect, things. Pet Sounds can be perfect - Highway 61 Revisited is just perfecter. Then again, you could probably include “This Land is Your Land” on any album and make it perfecter.
Josh Grimmer lives in Hollywood with his wife and cat. He kinda sorta runs this blog, and has another one at http://mousebed.blogspot.com. Twitter him up at http://twitter.com/JoshGrimmer
Wait. No. There. No no, go back one. Yeah. Pet Sounds. That's a perfect album. Perfect in every way. I mean, “Wouldn't it be Nice,” “Caroline, No,” “God Only Knows,” shouldn't this be it? Utter perfection, right? There isn't a single problem with this album. Beautifully produced. Brian Wilson at the height of his genius. The emotional response created by certain moments in each song is incredible. This is a slice of complete American perfection. It couldn't be more perfect, right?
It could, though. Recorded at the same time as Pet Sounds was “Good Vibrations,” which was tragically left off the album. Brian Wilson apparently thought the song needed more time. The band spent hours and hours and hours in the studio recording vocal tracks. Re-recording vocal tracks. Re-re-recording vocal tracks. Re-re-re-you get it. The amount of work that went into getting the song to gel is mind-boggling.
Can you penalize something for not being as complete as you think it should be? Say, for instance, it was revealed that “Hey Jude” was supposed to be on Abbey Road. Does that erase forty years of greatness? Probably not. For some reason though, the knowledge that “Good Vibrations” was originally slated to be on Pet Sounds leaves me slightly cold whenever I think about it. The worst part is the teacherly feeling I get. Remember when the dumb kid would turn in his crappy paper and get a B+, and you'd turn in your really good paper and get a C- because the teacher “knew you could do better”? Yeah, well fuck you, Mrs. Desrosiers. Should you be punished for not living up to your potential, even if you've still achieved something great? I dunno – George Harrison was always bummed the Beatles weren't more famous than they were.
I've listened to Pet Sounds ten or so times this week. It's the only album I've had on while writing and editing and reading and all of that. It gets better and better each time. There are little moments I miss or forget or remember just in time that fill me with joy. The “baby, don'cha know” at the 1:10 mark in “I'm Waiting for the Day.” The way the harmonies manage to get better as “Sloop John B” fades out. The goofy horn solo in “I Know There's an Answer.” The clip-clop-clup noises in “God Only Knows.” Every little moment elicits a different, fantastic response. I close my eyes and I can feel the neurons firing in my brain in ways that other albums just can't replicate.
(Side note: If my wife and I were ever on The Newlywed Game [too late for that at this point] and either of us were asked what “our song” was, we'd say “God Only Knows.” I always figured if we were ever going to have a song, it might as well be the single best love song ever written. This song was not played at our wedding reception, however, because my mom decided to put The Best of Janet Jackson into the CD player and program it to repeat the first track over and over. We were treated to three straight spins of the wretched and reprehensible “Runaway” before the other guests threatened to throw my mom down a flight of stairs.)
I guess Pet Sounds is perfect. I guess. Art is subjective, right? My “perfect” is different from your “perfect,” right? Then again, my friend Dave once claimed that every Christmas song would be better if they all began with Elvis going “Ah-weh-ah-hell-ah-I'll-ah-have-ah-bluuuuuue.” I've tried this – it's 100% true. It works with every single song. It makes them a little more perfect.
I guess Pet Sounds, ultimately, is like Nigel Tufnel's amp in This is Spinal Tap. As it stands, the album is set at ten, and “Good Vibrations” would give it that extra push over the cliff. Maybe since Pet Sounds is already perfect, “Good Vibrations” would make it more perfect. If we can have more infinite infinities, I feel it stands to reason that some things can be perfecter than other, also perfect, things. Pet Sounds can be perfect - Highway 61 Revisited is just perfecter. Then again, you could probably include “This Land is Your Land” on any album and make it perfecter.
Josh Grimmer lives in Hollywood with his wife and cat. He kinda sorta runs this blog, and has another one at http://mousebed.blogspot.com. Twitter him up at http://twitter.com/JoshGrimmer
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