Thursday, September 9, 2010

Meg Wood: Close

First came Alexander.
I met him an hour after he met the world,
Red-faced and wailing.
I’d seen his foot on an ultrasound once;
The same foot now fluttering against my palm,
A lively miracle.

I was pushing him on a swing when his brother was born.
A warm spring day.
The next morning, we met Matthew together.
I cupped his head in my hands, breathed in his breath.
Xander covered him in stickers,
A prized possession.

My sister’s first took me whole, no surprise.
I spent a week with Luke just after his birth.
I held him for days, hips rocking as to a metronome,
Heart wobbling like sea legs on land.
Atoms, energies exchanged, traded,
A permanent bond.

Then came Sydney, first girl, last.
I kissed her toes the day we met (one hundred times, I counted).
I love you, I whispered. I’ll be here, I’m here.
We girls stick together. We ladies, we stay.
Shared gender, shared blood,
An immutable connection.

People ask if it’s hard not having my own.
It’s hard sometimes, I say.
There’s a loss there of dreams, grief for a plan, a falter in moving on.

Then Syd curls up in my lap, calls me “Grandpa,” falls asleep;
Luke’s face lights up when he sees mine, so happy he claps as he laughs;
Matt listens rapt, sometimes skipping a breath, as I read him adventurous tales;
Xander teaches me football, tries not to laugh, high-fives as I finally score.

Some days it’s hard, the ones I’m alone.
My pockets emptied of toys.
Most days, though, I marvel I’ve earned such a life:
A lap full of nieces, piggy backs with the boys, the sound of “Aunt Meg!” through a door.

Desert body, oasis heart:
A closeness of close-enough.

Meg Wood usually ends her poems with knock-knock jokes. You can read her opinions about books, films, and TV at http://megwood.wordpress.com, as well as her internationally revered (or reviled, depending on what she's said about Christian Bale that day) Boyfriend of the Week essays at http://megwood.com.

10 comments:

  1. "Heart wobbling like sea legs on land."

    That's exactly what it feels like.

    Beautiful, Meg.

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  2. That was so moving. I know that you were iffy about contributing a poem. I'm glad that you did.

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  3. beautiful. i love you.
    my favorite "so happy he claps as he laughs"

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  4. Uhg. Stunning. Beautiful. I want to be those babies. Lucky lucky babes. You're dreamy. I love this.

    And I can count the poems I've loved.

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  5. This is SO GOOD. Last stanza, oh, baby. Perfection.

    Goddamn, those are some lucky niece/nephews. I'd flip if you were my aunt.

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  6. My eyes are all sweaty. I love you and so do they.

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  7. "My eyes are all sweaty" is a line I may have to steal for my NEXT poem, which will be entitled, "Crying Sweaty Bits." IT will end with a knock knock joke for sure, you watch. (Moo.)

    (p.s. Thank you to everyone -- I had a rough week waiting for this to be launched into the world and the response to it has been overwhelmingly wonderful and kind. It means a lot, truly.)

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  8. It's wonderful for me to read all the posts in Josh's blog. You all are professional writers, and I'm just a guy who enjoys good stories. I read all the posts for the content/story and never for quality of the writing.

    That being said, your poem was very moving when I read it yesterday.

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  9. "the closeness of close enough" is my favorite line by far. I need to call my brother now. Awesome.

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