Tuesday, April 5, 2011

Scott Joel Gizicki - AM Observation

Start time: 7:37 PM

Almost every morning when I get off the train to go to work I see this same guy. There is nothing unusual about his appeareance. He typically wears a thinner sweater over his dress shirt of a muted grey or white or eggshell or charcoal. He is a thinner man but doesn't wear those tight khakis that only make skinny guys look like broomsticks which is not at all attractive. He carries a modest briefcase bag-ish thing and wears fashionable glasses that compliment his average hair style well, not well but good enough. The thing that boggles my mind about him is that every time the little white guy appears allowing us pedestrian slaves to cross the street he runs. And I don't mean jogs or speed walks or just rushes himself he actually runs. Oh, and he runs in that awkward Freshman in high school way, carrying far too many books in their backpack because they're afraid of stopping at their locker in between for classes for whatever reason that may be. As soon as he gets to the other side of the street he stops running. He's clearly not in a rush otherwise he'd continue running onto the next crosswalk and then begrudgingly sigh at the rest of us as we catch up to him before our walk friend replaces Mr. Orange Hand once again. I thought that maybe he was terrified of getting hit. Maybe he has been hit by a car before or someone he cares about has. Now, I know it sounds rude, but him running like that makes me want to hit him. No, not with a car, but with my fist. It's almost like when you come across a kid in public that reminds you of yourself at that same age. You just want to go over to that kid and shake them and say, "Stop acting so weird!" I want to punch dorky kids. I get that it's a phase more of us go through than will ever admit, but it doesn't slow my urge to exact violence almost as if to get revenge on myself but in cathartic manner of speaking. I, of course would never want to act on this urge unless I was somehow able to beat up myself. See the thing is, I feel I'm constantly going through phases I want to beat myself up for. I would go back three years ago and beat myself up if I could and when I come back to my own time I'm sure the-future-three-years-from-now-me will be there to punch present-time me. It's not that I regret any decisions or the person I have become because I love me today but I'm always striving for better so I'm sure I'll love the me three years from now more, well at least I hope. I just get so embarrassed thinking about things I did. Running around finding sticks that I said I would marry because I thought my friends thought it was funny, rushing through the halls of high school at the end of the day saying I'm looking for Elephant tracks as I'm pushing my way to my locker or even making out with strangers at that one drunken party that I had no reason to be so drunk at. It's all ridiculous things that I've learned from and so I guess when I see ridiculous behavior I want to share my knowledge and help those people learn quicker what has taken me 27 years to learn. But, I guess that could be the difference between me and Mr. RunsNotWalks. Maybe he's done learning. Maybe he is perfectly okay with who he is despite what others may say and think. I envy and pity him if that is the case. You see, I believe we as humans are always capable of learning and growing as individuals until the day we die. It's why I'm always analyzing myself and comparing my past to my present and applying it to the future. It makes me sad when people give up on that potential we all have but at the same time that man probably has a better chance at finding the comfort of settling down and establishing himself with a life with stronger roots. Of course, the grass is always greener, but I can't help but wonder if there is something wrong with me that I get bored easily in life. It's probably why I enjoy acting. I get to jump into different shoes and really get to know the characters I'm portraying and in the end I usually tend to find out more about me as well. Still, at the start of my days I can't help but to have that urge to shake that running man and tell him to walk like the rest of us, and not for safety reasons, but because in a few years he may want to go back in time and do the same thing.

End time: 7:57 PM

Scott Joel Gizicki is just another one of those new Los Angeles residents that acts and enjoys writing as well. After being born and raised in Detroit, he finally made it 3,000 miles to the city he's always wanted to live in this past August. He hopes he can stand out from the crowd; at least a little bit. :)


  1. I know I already told you, but I really really like this. It's just so honest and relatable. I feel the same way about girls I see that are like me when I was in high school (and lots of times they are just as old as me now!) and I want to shake them. But who knows where they are in their lives? So good.

  2. There are days when I feel like present-day me needs a good shake, too. :)