We are all apprentices in a craft where no one ever becomes a master - Ernest Hemingway
Tuesday, June 21, 2011
Debra Crosslin - Pissed Off Letter
Have you ever been enraged and pissed off at some asshole that is suppose to be your friend, co-worker, boss, lover, family member and so on?
That person was rude, obnoxious or just fucked-up. Their uncalled for opinion embarrasssed the shit out of you. You may even comtemplate murder, revenge, pay back time sweetie! ...even though you may love or respect them. In the end my suggestion is to write them an angry letter and afterward simply throw it away. I guarantee you'll feel better.
As an example: some complete asshole outright lied about you in front of some splendid company and totally ruined your happiness.
Dear jerk-off idiot,
You are mean and nasty. (good start). When you were born the doctor slapped your mother and declared the baby as the devil child.
I have seen pictures of you in condom ads stating, "Do not let this happen to you. May cause unecessary, life long pain and suffering."
Next, in the police station you are pictured as the FBI's most wanted, along with an ugly profile and an evil smashed in face. Warning: Wears many diguises and is dangerous and armed. Beware! Wanted dead or alive. A zillion dollar reward for information leading to the capture and conviction of this monster.
As a revenge I would love to capture and tortue you. Something worse then washboarding. Mmmm... tie you up and handcuff you to a small uncomfortable boat in Disneyland at the "It's a Small World" exhibit forever.
Or simply cut your tongue off with a very, very dull knife and leave you for dead.
Get the picture? Sign it and read it over a few times. Laughing with errie delight. Then destroy the letter.
Next time you see this asshole just thinking about it will put you at ease.
Please send all evil ideas to me. Not about me, but about your asshole companion.