I hate when people use Untitled for a title. I also hate titles, no more so labels. I'm also a hypocrite. Nearly three years ago something so catastrophic sat on my chest like a gremlin and tinkered around with my ticker. It was over, but there was a difference this time. It was over but I was not over. It was the first break-up that had hurt so badly but I persevered into a better person. I did some of the usual things. I built up walls around myself and just threw myself into tons of projects. For six months straight nothing outside of a grieving exchange of a kiss in the postmortem of a dearly departed broke down these walls. No contact. No dates. Just me. I was falling in love with me and swearing away all relationships. Screw labels. Screw relationship statuses. Screw Looking for. Screw a/s/l! (I applaud you if you can recall that reference) None of that was happening until this quiet fellow love-lorn companion came into my life and gave me an amazing, rewarding and positively challenging two and a half years.
I hate chapters with titles.
So now we're trying out this whole still living together and slowly breaking up into a friendship thing. What? I know, right? Who does this and mutually? I hoped we could. What's yours is becoming yours and what's mine is becoming mine. Why is this happening now? It's like trying to remove paint out of a sink. How do you separate this? I claim the cool glass stained wine glasses we got as a going away gift. Wine glasses are already in the soon to be non-counterpart's possession. Now I have some, too. What do you still hold onto to maintain that friendship. What do you let go of? This is how I've been dealing. I found out tonight how the other one has been dealing. The dangers of social dating apps. The danger of still living with your respectively ex-boyfriend. The danger of tapping into my pre-Christmas gift searching adolescent years. I tapped into that portion of the brain. The danger of leaving your iTouch behind when going out. Ignorance is bliss and I'm the dead cat. No bliss here. I hate titles. But I loved ours. Now it's gone. Well, at least I can say I still have what is mine.