We are all apprentices in a craft where no one ever becomes a master - Ernest Hemingway
Monday, May 23, 2011
Debra Crosslin - Is it too late?
Is it too late to rewind the movie? The movie of me because I am the star, the main character. The star that is shining, bright and beautiful. Is it too late?
I shoulda made a better choice. I shoulda learned to play the game. I shoulda done so many things. I shoulda played an instrument, learned to act, to sing, to dance with ease. I shoulda been a better friend, a better wife, a better mother, a better lover, so many things. I shoulda learned to run like lighting, to win the race, to drive a NASCAR, to surf the oceans many waves, to climb a mountain with powerful legs.
I coulda loved and cherished my life. To honor God, my kin, the light. I coulda been the better one, to understand, to listen, to believe and not to fear, not to cry, to trust and never lie. I coulda been more sensitive, to understand and not to judge. I coulda changed the world , to be positive , not give bad advice. I coulda spoke before I talked, more carefully with foresight and thought. I coulda loved you in a loving way, I coulda loved myself with care. I coulda did my best you see and not give into negativity.
I woulda been a professional. I woulda been who I am inside. I woulda been a sumo wrestler, a lawyer, a doctor, a movie star. I woulda worked with paint, with wood, with fabric, with sugar and spices, with dirt; a chef, a gardener, a carpenter, a fashion designer, a computer whiz. Or I woulda been the boss in charge and gave the orders to my staff. I woulda been the president, a healer, a yogi, the wise and powerful Oz. I woulda been just who I am and not a fake, so lame, unreal. My father said, "Time heals all wounds." Maybe, but you carry those wounds forever and remember.
I think it is to late for me, but not for you to learn from life. You do not have to cruise from birth to death. Bend the rules, change the game, fight for your right for all living things. Continue on because in my heart I cannot change the past, I cannot foretell the future. I can only live in the present and not regret the love and happiness I tried to give. May you think of the good you've done because the past will never return. Is it too late? Not for you, maybe for me; to follow your dreams, for your heart and soul to shine. In your heart there lays your soul. Do not live in misery.
Remember to follow and listen to your heart and never give up, follow your dreams. You are perfect who you are. You are love. Do not believe in anyone or anything? It is just not true. Love and live to learn to accept yourself exactly what you are. Maybe it is not too late.